Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Indian food sure is Explosive


What's going on people who read my shtuff. It has occurred to me that my past few posts have been more on the negative side. Partially my fault, but mostly the fault of the terrible food I was being exposed to. There was a great new experience in the midst of all the madness however, that I have not shared. So here we go.
Growing up in C.V., I was not exposed to many Indians (real Indians, not Native Americans...or I guess Native Mexican in my case). So there weren't many opportunities for me to try this exotic food. The only thing I'd heard about the cuisine was that it was spicy and oily, which made for a fun time later on if you know what I mean. If you've been following, you know I am a fan of spicy, and since I got over my fear of doing the do in public restrooms(that's another story), these warnings really posed no threat to me. So when the opportunity presented itself, I was all for it.

The place was called Sneha. It was actually a buffet, which is perfect, so I could dismiss the stuff that sucked, and gorge on everything good. Honestly, looking at the choices in the trays reminded me of, I mean seemed like I was in prison mess hall. Just masses of items that may very well have been leftovers blended up and served, but smelled amazing. First stop was the naan; basically an Indian version of bread or tortilla. Then typical for Asian foods, so sort of rice dish. After, the meats. Now, what was different about the meat was that it was either bathed in some kind of soup/sauce or marinated and covered with spices...a little different that the fried or grilled with BBQ sauce I'm used to. And finally, the vegetables...always questionable in my book, regardless of the ethnicity of the restaurant. This first time I passed on the veggies, later on however, I did try these deep fried spinach things called Pakora. Surprisingly these were pretty good, as well as Samosas, which is basically a deep fried ball of mashed potatoes. BOMB. Ok, now back to your regularly scheduled meal.

Everything is strategically placed on the tray, Chicken Masala in the bowl with the red sauce, Chili Chicken and Tandoori Chicken on the plate with the rice and naan. I don't know what was used to season anything i ate other than, I'm assuming salt, but i now know why Columbus was looking for India! The taste buds were definitely dancing to a Benny Lava song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeVV7e_ZC4w watch and educate yourself). Naan is the best compliment to sauces EVER. Perfect texture and consistency, so you can dip it and it won't get soggy or eat it's flaky goodness as is. The rice had a subtle hint of lime that mixed well with the smokey flavor of the tender tandoori chicken. Considering all the chicken was breast meat, it was all very moist. Now, was there a downside? Yes, but it was only caused by how much I enjoyed the food.

There should be a sign at the front of the buffet line that reads, "Dear New Comers, Take a lot of Naan cuz you will run out, and you will be sad." Dipping naan in the sauces that surrounded my plate was magical. No scooping necessary, a dip was all you needed because the consistency was like paint, coating whatever you felt like consuming next. Within a few minutes of sitting down, naan is gone and my left hand is lonely. And when the plate is clear you can feel it in your arteries that you just had an awesome meal. The kind that causes the rest of the day (if you had it at lunch as I did) to be spent in a blissful stupor.

So a warning to all you who have not experienced Indian yet... Be wary of the time of day you eat it, if you have things you need to accomplish that day, maybe defer the Indian until the following day. You may think dinner is more appropriate than lunch, be prepared to wake in a cold sweat, yea, that sweat. Just clinch and hope the seat is down. Do everyone a favor and light the candles in the house, you'll be glad you did. So far, my favorite new experience. But, I'm still starving. Until next time, stay hungry.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Dim SUm Craaaaazy People


Hey Everyone! I know, I know...it's been quite a while. But you know I've been stayin' hungry. So, I've got a few to feed you this time around. I'm going to start it out with a DOOOOZIE! Enjoy the ride.

Dim sum....UH Uh uh. I thought it only existed in movies, or tastsless asian jokes. But let me tell you folks, it is REAL! I thought Dim Sum was just some asian dish, like egg rolls or fortune cookies (just playin'). Dim Sum is like a freakin society, with a cult following. From my experience, I don't think anyone can be on the fence about this, love it or loathe it. I am going to choose the latter, let me tell you why.


So some my buddies asked if I wanted to go to Dim Sum one day, and I suspect the only reason they invited me was because I started this blog and possibly to get a laugh out of my reactions. So I bit, sure I'll go fellas! If it weren't for the experience, I would regret this decision forever. We show up, already I'm about to have an anxiety attack. It looks like a banquet hall after a large Chinese wedding. Of course I've never been to a chinese wedding, and I'm sure they're lovely, but for my story's purpose, it was like a Chinese reception. No wait time, someone walks us through the maze of tables and chairs, that seem to be on to of each other, to where we will be having our dining experience.


My buddies look pretty pleased, so I'm getting anxious...but where is the waiter. OOOOOHHH there is no waiter or menu; Perfect! The only space between the tables are for carts of food to pass by. So that seems pretty awesome, right? A buffet that you don't have to get out of your seat for! Then it's explained to me, that these people come around and you pick items off of the carts that you want to eat and you're charged accordingly...damn, so not exactly buffet SO CHOOSE WISELY! Problem there is that everything is wrapped in a wet/slimy rice noodle covering and they're not labeled. Okay - just ask what each thing is then, sounds like the logical thing to do, nah. Hunger/dozens of choices/accents/my impatience not going to happen. My only other option is to suck it up, and leave my stomach in my friends hands EFF. They start pointing at stuff and loading up their plates, so I follow suit. Now the fun begins.


I can hold my own with chopsticks, I can even get down with my left hand...I'm no rookie. But at this particular encounter, I seemed to have met my match. I handled the Pho with much more ease, and that's SOUP! I'm going to say it again, it should be illegal to make chopsticks out of plastic, it makes no damn sense... Anyway, I just wanted to eat my food and see what this dim sum was all about. But dang, time after time, I picked up whatever I was trying to eat; got it about 1 cm off the plate, dropped. I could feel the eyes laughing at me from the surrounding tables, and my friends who were all the while enjoying their food. I think there is a video out there somewhere. But once I did get one of those bastards to my mouth, I wasn't sure that I wanted to get better at it! I wasn't exactly sure what I had just eaten. They said it was some kinda chicken or fish or shrimp or gelatenous lump of WTF. There was only so much I could take before my stomach was sayin NO MAS! And not because I wasn't hungry anyone...I just couldn't handle it.


All in all, dim sum was a hell of an experience...a once in a life time experience. That I will continue to keep it at. And I've decided that Dim Sum is a preffix: Dim Sum - Hungry ass people, this is hard to eat oooor Dim Sum - Hungry ass people to be eating this! Dim Sum - strange lookin potstickers. Ok, I'm done. I'm about to jump on a plane, keep an eye out, there's going to be another one coming soon. 'til then my friends, Stay Hungry!