Dim SUm Craaaaazy People

Hey Everyone! I know, I know...it's been quite a while. But you know I've been stayin' hungry. So, I've got a few to feed you this time around. I'm going to start it out with a DOOOOZIE! Enjoy the ride.

Dim sum....UH Uh uh. I thought it only existed in movies, or tastsless asian jokes. But let me tell you folks, it is REAL! I thought Dim Sum was just some asian dish, like egg rolls or fortune cookies (just playin'). Dim Sum is like a freakin society, with a cult following. From my experience, I don't think anyone can be on the fence about this, love it or loathe it. I am going to choose the latter, let me tell you why.

So some my buddies asked if I wanted to go to Dim Sum one day, and I suspect the only reason they invited me was because I started this blog and possibly to get a laugh out of my reactions. So I bit, sure I'll go fellas! If it weren't for the experience, I would regret this decision forever. We show up, already I'm about to have an anxiety attack. It looks like a banquet hall after a large Chinese wedding. Of course I've never been to a chinese wedding, and I'm sure they're lovely, but for my story's purpose, it was like a Chinese reception. No wait time, someone walks us through the maze of tables and chairs, that seem to be on to of each other, to where we will be having our dining experience.

My buddies look pretty pleased, so I'm getting anxious...but where is the waiter. OOOOOHHH there is no waiter or menu; Perfect! The only space between the tables are for carts of food to pass by. So that seems pretty awesome, right? A buffet that you don't have to get out of your seat for! Then it's explained to me, that these people come around and you pick items off of the carts that you want to eat and you're charged accordingly...damn, so not exactly buffet SO CHOOSE WISELY! Problem there is that everything is wrapped in a wet/slimy rice noodle covering and they're not labeled. Okay - just ask what each thing is then, sounds like the logical thing to do, nah. Hunger/dozens of choices/accents/my impatience not going to happen. My only other option is to suck it up, and leave my stomach in my friends hands EFF. They start pointing at stuff and loading up their plates, so I follow suit. Now the fun begins.

I can hold my own with chopsticks, I can even get down with my left hand...I'm no rookie. But at this particular encounter, I seemed to have met my match. I handled the Pho with much more ease, and that's SOUP! I'm going to say it again, it should be illegal to make chopsticks out of plastic, it makes no damn sense... Anyway, I just wanted to eat my food and see what this dim sum was all about. But dang, time after time, I picked up whatever I was trying to eat; got it about 1 cm off the plate, dropped. I could feel the eyes laughing at me from the surrounding tables, and my friends who were all the while enjoying their food. I think there is a video out there somewhere. But once I did get one of those bastards to my mouth, I wasn't sure that I wanted to get better at it! I wasn't exactly sure what I had just eaten. They said it was some kinda chicken or fish or shrimp or gelatenous lump of WTF. There was only so much I could take before my stomach was sayin NO MAS! And not because I wasn't hungry anyone...I just couldn't handle it.

All in all, dim sum was a hell of an experience...a once in a life time experience. That I will continue to keep it at. And I've decided that Dim Sum is a preffix: Dim Sum - Hungry ass people, this is hard to eat oooor Dim Sum - Hungry ass people to be eating this! Dim Sum - strange lookin potstickers. Ok, I'm done. I'm about to jump on a plane, keep an eye out, there's going to be another one coming soon. 'til then my friends, Stay Hungry!